Rambler #1: The s.f.d.

“I hate writing, but I love having written.” This quotation is traditionally attributed to writer Dorothy Parker. Regardless the source, it’s true for me. I really, really hate writing. When I say writing, I don’t mean this post. This is like eating cotton candy — it takes little effort, leaves a cloying taste in your mouth and probably does nothing for you other than increase your blood sugar count.

By writing, I’m talking about communicating an honest observation of the world to your audience through a character in space and time. I’ve finished two picture book manuscripts recently and the finish, the having written, is euphoric.

Getting there is brutal.

I have no deadlines, no boss and for some reason the weather report for the next five minutes has become irresistibly important. My bladder is suddenly overactive and my desktop icons constantly need rearranging.

In the midst of these struggles, I’ve found a drinking buddy in writer Ann Lamott. Of all the writing books I’ve read (let’s pretend that number is in the dozens), Lamott’s Bird by Bird is perhaps the most honest acknowledgement of the doubts, weaknesses, and triumphs a writer faces.

Lamott acknowledges that the first draft will be utterly terrible, horrid to the point that no human being outside of oneself should ever read it. Lamott calls it the [expletive warning] shitty first draft and that's exactly what mine are. But that’s the point; no one reads them. The [censorship warning] s.f.d. is vitally important to step 2: revising. Eventually, the s.f.d. stops looking like the awkward kid whose birthday invite you avoid and more like the flaxen-haired, doe-eyed girl you chase around the playground.

Hopefully, my future editor was neither the awkward kid or the girl as that would be potentially embarrassing.