Some of the too many events this week:
• Ed McMahon, 86, died
• Farrah Fawcett, 62, died
• Michael Jackson, 50, died
• Jeff Goldblum, 56, fell 60 feet to his death while filming on location in New Zealand. Several hours later, Mr. Goldblum informed Google that he was not dead, not in New Zealand and not shooting a new film
• South Carolina local boy and huge underdog Lucas Glover wins US Open
• US men's soccer team beats #1 ranked Spain 2-0 in a massive upset in the CONFED semi-final
• 9 killed, 76 injured in worst metro crash in Washington D.C.'s 33 year metro history
• South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford got lost on the Appalachian Trail and ended up Buenos Aries, Argentina, in the bed of Maria Shapur
I feel jipped. Barely had the Ed-McMahon-shaped waves of shock and sadness begun to roll over me when Farrah Fawcett barged onto the scene. And poor thing, she received a scant 17 minutes of shock and saddness before Michael Jackson completely shoved everyone off the front page.
What about ad sales, guys? What about days upon days of talking heads, cheesy charts and cloying photo montages? Did you learn nothing from Princess Diana? You guys milked that for over a month of 24-7 coverage because you didn't crowd the plate. If you had planned this right, you could have rode the wave through Christmas.
And someone obviously got carried away with let's-kill-a-bunch-of-famous-people day, as shown by Jeff Goldblum's untimely demise, then un-demise. He's lucky, though. I heard he got lost looking for Mordor and ended up somewhere around Buenos Aries, wherever that is.
